How Does Not Embracing the Process Lead to Lack of Joy or Depression in Wives? (Part 4)
Lack of Joy is like withered flowers…Withered flowers were once full of color, fragrance, and life. They had their moment of blooming, turning heads with beauty. But when cut off from their source — water, sunlight, and soil — they slowly begin to fade. Their petals curl in. Their fragrance disappears. Their posture droops. In the same way, a wife who has been drained emotionally, spiritually, or even relationally often begins to lose her joy. Not because she’s weak. But because she’s disconnected from the wellspring of life.
Joy isn’t just a fleeting feeling. It is the fragrance of a heart deeply rooted in God’s presence. Just like flowers need consistent watering and light, a woman needs three things:
- God’s Word as her living water,
- The warmth of His presence as her light,
- And emotional tending, just like soil, needs care to keep it grounded.
When a wife resists embracing the process—whether it’s the stretching in her marriage, the slow pace of personal growth, or the quiet seasons where God seems silent—she often internalizes that something is wrong with her. But in truth, the process proves that something is right: growth is happening.
Here’s how not embracing that process can open the door to loss of joy or depression:
1. Unrealistic Expectations:
If a wife expects perfection or quick results in marriage, motherhood, or personal growth, she may feel like a constant failure when reality doesn’t match the fantasy. This gap breeds discouragement and emotional fatigue.
2. Loss of Identity:
Not embracing the process often means you don’t fully engage with who you are becoming. When a woman disconnects from her evolving identity, especially in Christ, she may feel lost, invisible, or purposeless, leading to numbness or sadness.
3. Suppressed Emotions:
When the process is denied, emotions that should be expressed (grief, anger, fear, disappointment, or loneliness, etc.) get buried. She silences parts of herself that need healing. Buried emotions don’t die—they grow and can fester into depression or emotional shutdown.
4. Disconnection from God’s Timing:
The process is usually where God’s voice is clearest. Avoiding the process can mean missing divine perspective and timing, which leads to striving in the flesh rather than resting in grace. That striving wears down the soul. Joy begins to fade.
5. Isolation:
Shame can creep in when a wife feels like she “should have it all together.” If she avoids vulnerability or doesn’t share the struggle, she isolates—and the enemy thrives in isolation. Struggles kept in silence grow in strength. Without safe spaces to process, she can feel alone, even when surrounded by people.
6. Joy often flows from surrender not control:
A wife who resists the process may cling to control, which blocks her from experiencing the unexpected joy that comes from trusting God with the unknown.
Reflection Question:
Where in your life have you been resisting the process God is using to grow you, and how has that resistance affected your joy?
With love,
Faith Murithi, FAMU.
Faith. Align. Move. Unfold.
Joy isn’t just a fleeting feeling.
— Faith Murithi, FAMU.
It is the fragrance of a heart deeply rooted in God’s presence.
