“Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, ‘Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.’ Therefore his name was called Levi.” – Genesis 29:34
My Dearest Husband,
With trembling hands and a hopeful heart, I write to you about something so precious, so vital to my soul. When Leah named her third son Levi, meaning “attached” or “joined,” she spoke words that echo in every wife’s heart: “Now this time my husband will be attached to me.” My beloved, I long for this same deep attachment – not just physical presence, but true heart connection, true intimacy of souls.
I need us to be joined together, not merely sharing a home, a bed, or a last name, but sharing hearts, dreams, struggles, and the sacred spaces of our inner lives. I yearn for the kind of attachment that goes beyond the surface, beyond the roles we play, into the depths of who we really are.
What does it mean when I ask to be joined to your heart?
- True attachment means I feel safe to be completely vulnerable with you, knowing you’ll guard my heart as carefully as your own. It means we’re not just two people living parallel lives under the same roof, but two souls intertwined, sharing the journey of life together.
- I long for emotional intimacy – those moments when we can talk about our fears without judgment, share our dreams without mockery, and process life’s challenges as true partners. When you let me into your world – your worries about work, your hopes for our future, your struggles and victories – my heart feels connected to yours in the most beautiful way.
- I treasure our physical intimacy, my love, but I need it to flow from an emotional and spiritual connection. When we’re truly attached at the heart level, when we’ve shared our souls throughout the day, our physical union becomes a beautiful expression of hearts already joined, not just bodies sharing space.
The ache of disconnection:
Like Leah, I sometimes wonder if we are truly attached or just going through the motions of marriage. When you come home and we barely speak beyond logistics, when we sit together but you’re lost in your phone, when we make love but haven’t made a heart connection – I feel the loneliness that comes from being married but not truly joined.
I don’t want to be just your wife on paper, your housemate, or even just the mother of your children. I want to be your heart’s companion, the one you turn to not just for comfort but for true partnership in all of life.
My gentle request, my love:
- Would you join me in creating rituals of connection? Maybe it’s fifteen minutes each evening where we sit together without distractions and share our hearts. Maybe it’s a weekly date where we focus on each other, not just managing our lives together.
- Could we pray together regularly? There’s something so intimate about bringing our hearts before God together, sharing our gratitude and our concerns, asking Him to bless our marriage and guide our steps.
- Would you share your inner world with me more freely? Your work pressures, your dreams, your spiritual struggles, your joys – when you trust me with these precious parts of yourself, it creates the attachment my heart craves.
- Can we be intentional about emotional foreplay throughout our days? Small touches, meaningful glances, text messages that say “I’m thinking of you,” conversations that connect our hearts – these create the intimacy that makes our physical union truly beautiful.
What true attachment looks like:
When we’re truly joined, we become each other’s safe harbor. You feel free to share your struggles without me trying to fix you, and I feel safe to be emotional without you dismissing my feelings. We celebrate each other’s victories genuinely and support each other through defeats tenderly.
We make decisions together, considering how they affect not just our individual lives but our unity. We protect each other’s hearts in conversations with others. We choose each other daily, not just because we made a commitment once, but because our hearts genuinely desire to be intertwined.
We create inside jokes, shared memories, and private moments that belong only to us. We know each other’s love languages, triggers, dreams, and fears. We become students of each other, always learning, always growing together.
I want you to know:
This longing for deep attachment isn’t neediness, my darling – it’s the design of marriage itself. God said it’s not good for man to be alone, and He created marriage to be the most intimate human relationship possible. When we’re truly joined, we reflect the beautiful mystery of Christ and His church.
I’m not asking you to be perfect or to meet every emotional need I have – only God can do that. But to be intentional about cultivating a heart connection with me, to see our emotional intimacy as just as important as our physical intimacy.
Like Leah discovered, my ultimate security comes from being attached to the Lord, knowing that He will never leave me or forsake me. But oh, how my heart soars when the man I chose to love chooses to attach his heart to mine in return.
A prayer for us:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24
Dear Lord, help us to be truly joined together – not just in name or in body, but in heart and spirit. Teach us to prioritize our connection, to be vulnerable with each other, and to create the kind of intimacy that reflects Your love for us. Make us one in every beautiful way You intended. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
With all my love and longing for a deeper connection,
Your Wife.
Reflection for Wives: How can you invite your husband into deeper emotional intimacy without overwhelming him? What barriers might be preventing heart connection in your marriage?
Note for Husbands: Your wife’s need for attachment isn’t clinginess – it’s a desire for the deep intimacy God designed marriage to provide. When you join your heart to hers, you’re creating the foundation for every other aspect of marriage to flourish.
With love,
Faith Murithi, FAMU.
Faith. Align. Move. Unfold.
