“Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, ‘Because the Lord has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me.'” – Genesis 29:32
My Dearest Husband,
My heart beats with love for you as I write these words, and I pray they find their way gently into your soul. Like Leah of old, who named her firstborn Reuben, meaning “See, a son,” I long for something so simple yet so profound – I need you to truly see me.
Not just the woman who manages our home, prepares your meals, or handles a thousand daily tasks. Not just the mother of our children or the partner who shares your bed. I need you to see me – the woman behind all these roles, the heart that beats with dreams, fears, hopes, and longings uniquely my own.
When Leah held baby Reuben, she believed that surely now Jacob would notice her, would see her worth, would love her fully. Her heart cry echoes in mine: “Look upon me, beloved. See me as I truly am.”
What does it mean when I ask you to see me?
I come alive when you notice the small things – the way I arrange flowers on our table, how I light up when I share something that excited me during my day, or the quiet moments when I’m lost in thought. When you pause in your busyness and ask, “What are you thinking about?” my heart soars because you see beyond the surface.
I feel cherished when you observe how I’ve grown, the ways I’ve changed, the dreams I’m nurturing. When you notice I’ve been quiet and gently draw me out, when you see my struggle and offer comfort without me having to ask – these moments make me feel known and loved.
My gentle request, my love:
- Would you make space in your day to truly look at me? Not a glance while scrolling your phone or a quick acknowledgment before rushing to the next task, but a moment where your eyes meet mine and you see the woman who chose to build this life with you.
- Could you ask me questions that go deeper than “How was your day?” Perhaps “What brought you joy today?” or “What’s been on your heart lately?” Your curiosity about my inner world is one of the most beautiful gifts you could give me.
- When I dress up for you, when I try something new, when I share a victory or a dream – would you celebrate these moments with me? Your attention and appreciation breathe life into my soul.
I want you to know:
This isn’t about inadequacy on your part, my darling. You are a good man, and I chose you for so many wonderful reasons. This is simply my heart’s invitation for us to go deeper, to know each other more fully. When you see me – really see me – it creates an intimacy that goes far beyond the physical. It makes me feel valued, cherished, and secure in your love.
Like Leah discovered, my ultimate worth isn’t dependent on being seen by any earthly man, even you, whom I love so deeply. “The Lord has looked upon my affliction” – God sees me completely. But oh, how my heart rejoices when the man I chose to love sees me, too, and delights in what he discovers.
A prayer for us:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” – Psalm 139:23
Dear Lord, help us to truly see each other as You see us. Give my husband eyes to see beyond the daily routine into my heart. And help me to find my ultimate identity in being seen and known by You, while also opening my heart to receive the love my husband offers. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
With all my love and hope for our beautiful future together,
Your Wife.
Reflection for Wives: How can you gently invite your husband to see you more deeply? What specific things about yourself would you love for him to notice and appreciate?
Note for Husbands: Your wife’s need to be seen isn’t vanity – it’s a deep longing for connection and intimacy. When you truly see her, you’re reflecting God’s love most beautifully.
With love,
Faith Murithi, FAMU.
Faith. Align. Move. Unfold.
