King David’s Eight Wives Lessons

Her name means “daughter of the oath” or “daughter of abundance”—and indeed, God’s abundant grace transformed her story into something beautiful beyond imagination.

Eglah’s name means “little heifer” or “young cow”—which might not sound romantic to our modern ears, but in ancient times, it spoke of value, usefulness, and gentle strength. A heifer was precious because it was productive, reliable, and essential to the family’s well-being.

Haggith was the fifth wife of King David and the mother of Adonijah, David’s fourth son (2 Samuel 3:4). Her name means “festive” or “joyful,” yet her story reveals how joy can quickly turn to destructive ambition when we lose sight of God’s design for our relationships.

Maacah was a princess, the daughter of King Talmai of Geshur. When David married her, it wasn’t just a love match—it was a political alliance that brought honor, status, and strategic advantage to David’s growing kingdom.

Part 4 of a 9-Part Series for Wives Who Want to Understand Their Husbands Deeply Abigail – The Art of Wise Influence Dear Fellow Wives, We’ve journeyed through belief with Michal and presence with Ahinoam. Today, I want to share with you the story of a woman whose experience can revolutionize how we approach one of marriage’s most delicate challenges: how to influence our spouses toward wisdom without controlling, manipulating, or undermining their autonomy. Her name was Abigail, and she was originally married to a fool named Nabal. But through one pivotal encounter with David, she demonstrated something so beautiful and powerful that it changed the trajectory of both their lives. She showed us the art of wise influence—and it’s nothing like what I thought it would be. The Woman Married to a Fool Let me paint the picture for you… Abigail was married to Nabal, whose name literally means “fool.” The Bible describes him as “surly and mean in his dealings,” while she was “an intelligent and beautiful woman” (1 Samuel 25:3). Can you imagine? Here was a wise, discerning woman tied to a man who consistently made terrible decisions. She watched him alienate people, make enemies, and endanger their entire household through his foolishness and pride. If anyone had a right to be frustrated with her husband’s poor judgment, it was Abigail. If anyone could have justified taking control, stepping in, or publicly correcting her husband, it was her. But that’s not what she did. When I first read her story, I thought it would be about how she finally stood up to Nabal and put him in his place. I expected a story about a strong woman taking charge when her husband couldn’t. Instead, I found something far more profound: a masterclass in the kind of influence that actually works. The Crisis That Changed Everything Here’s what happened: David and his men had been protecting Nabal’s shepherds and flocks in the wilderness. When it came time for sheep shearing—a traditional time of celebration and generosity—David sent messengers to Nabal asking for provisions for his men. It was a reasonable request. David’s men had essentially provided security services, and he was politely asking for payment. Nabal’s response was insulting and dismissive: “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” (1 Samuel 25:10-11). David was furious. He strapped on his sword and headed toward Nabal’s household with 400 armed men, determined to kill every male in the family. His exact words were: “May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!” (1 Samuel 25:22). This is where Abigail enters the story. One of the servants ran to her and said, “David sent messengers from the wilderness to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them. Yet these men were very good to us… Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him” (1 Samuel 25:14-17). The Moment of Truth: How Abigail Responded Here’s where I expected Abigail to march up to Nabal and say, “Look what you’ve done now! Your pride and stupidity are going to get us all killed!” I thought she’d give him a piece of her mind, demand he fix his mess, or publicly shame him into making things right. Instead, she did something that took my breath away: She took responsibility for the solution without undermining her husband’s authority. The Bible says, “Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins, and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. Then she told her servants, ‘Go on ahead; I’ll follow you.’ But she did not tell her husband Nabal” (1 Samuel 25:18-19). Let that sink in… She didn’t ask for permission. She didn’t argue with Nabal. She didn’t waste time trying to convince a foolish man to be wise. She simply acted to protect her household, her servants, and yes, even her foolish husband. Abigail’s Masterclass When Abigail met David on the road, what she did next taught me everything I needed to know about godly influence. She didn’t bash her husband, didn’t make excuses for him, and didn’t try to distance herself from his actions. Instead, she: 1. Took Ownership:  “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent” (1 Samuel 25:24-25). 2. Appealed to His Higher Nature:  She reminded David of who he was called to be and what kind of king he wanted to become.  She said, “When the Lord your God has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed” (1 Samuel 25:30-31). 3. Offered a Better Path:  Instead of just criticizing David’s plan for revenge, she provided an alternative that honored his strength while protecting his integrity. 4. Trusted God with the Results:  She didn’t try to control the outcome. She presented her case with wisdom and respect, then trusted God to work in David’s heart. David’s response was immediate and profound: “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed

Part 2 of a 9-Part Series for Wives Who Want to Understand Their Husbands Deeply Michal – The Power of Believing in Him Dear Fellow Wives, Last week, I promised to take you on a journey through King David’s marriages to unlock the mystery of our husbands’ hearts. Today, we’re starting with his first wife, Michal, and her story broke my heart in the most instructive way. You see, Michal’s relationship with David began with everything we dream of in marriage: genuine love, mutual attraction, fierce loyalty, and unwavering belief in each other. But it ended in bitterness, contempt, and barrenness. What happened between those two points taught me one of the most important lessons about loving our spouses well. The Love Story That Started So Right Picture this: Michal was King Saul’s daughter, living in the palace, when she first saw David. He wasn’t famous yet—just a shepherd boy who played the harp to soothe her father’s troubled mind. While everyone else saw David’s humble origins, Michal saw his heart. The Bible tells us that “Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved David” (1 Samuel 18:20). In ancient times, when marriages were typically arranged for political reasons, this was a remarkable occurrence. She genuinely fell in love with him. When Saul offered Michal to David in marriage (hoping David would die trying to earn the bride price), David was thrilled. Here was a woman who loved him not for what he could provide, but for who he was. Heart check 1: My husband married me when I believed in him completely. I saw his potential, his heart, his dreams. I was his biggest cheerleader. But somewhere along the way…maybe through years of daily life, disappointments, or just familiarity. I wondered… had I stopped seeing him the way Michal first saw David? When Love Becomes Loyalty in Action The most beautiful part of Michal’s story came when everything fell apart. Her father, consumed with jealousy, decided to kill David. Saul sent men to David’s house to murder him in his sleep. What did Michal do? She risked everything to save her husband. “But Michal, David’s wife, warned him, ‘If you don’t run for your life tonight, tomorrow you’ll be killed.’ So Michal let David down through a window, and he fled and escaped” (1 Samuel 19:11-12). Then, and this part gives me chills—when her father’s men came looking for David, Michal lied to protect him. She put an idol in the bed with goat’s hair to make it look like David was there, sick. When they discovered the deception, she lied again, claiming David had threatened her life if she didn’t help him escape. Michal chose David over her father, her safety, and her reputation. Heart check 2: This is when I had to examine my own heart. When my husband faces criticism from the outside world, or even from his friends or family, am I his fierce protector or another voice adding to the chorus of doubt? When he’s vulnerable and afraid, am I the safe place he can run to, or am I part of what he’s running from? The Years of Separation: What Happens When Belief Fades? Here’s where the story gets heartbreaking. David fled and became a fugitive for years. During this time, Saul gave Michal to another man, Paltiel. We don’t know her feelings about this forced remarriage, but imagine the pain—separated from the man she loved, not knowing if he was dead or alive, forced into a relationship she didn’t choose. When David finally became king and had the power to reclaim his wives, he demanded Michal back. Scripture tells us that Paltiel followed behind the procession, weeping. But what about Michal? By now, years had passed. Disappointment had set in. The shepherd boy she’d believed in was now a powerful king, but their relationship had changed. This is where so many of us lose our way in marriage. Life happens. Dreams get delayed. The man we married doesn’t become who we thought he would become, or at least not as quickly as we hoped. Slowly, imperceptibly, our belief in him begins to erode. The Fatal Moment: When Belief Turns to Contempt The end of David and Michal’s love story came when David brought the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem. In his joy and worship, David danced before the Lord with all his might, wearing only a linen ephod, essentially underwear. Michal watched from her window as the king of Israel danced with abandon, and she was disgusted. When David came home, expecting to celebrate with his household, Michal met him with these cutting words: “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!” (2 Samuel 6:20). David’s response was swift and final: “It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor” (2 Samuel 6:21-22). The Bible’s next words are devastating: “And Michal, daughter of Sau,l had no children to the day of her death” (2 Samuel 6:23). You can read Michal’s full story in my previous post, ‘Michal: When Love Doesn’t Shield You from Pain‘ The Lesson That Changed My Marriage When I first read this story, I was angry at David. How could he be so harsh with Michal? But then I realized what had really happened. Michal had stopped seeing David’s heart and started focusing on his flaws. The man she once risked everything to protect had become an embarrassment to her. She had traded belief for contempt, and contempt kills love. Heart check 3: I had to ask myself some hard questions: What Michal Should Have Done (And What